Women Capable of Changing Corporate Culture with Effective Communication

Published in Woonsocket Call on March 11, 2018

Effective communication is a major factor for women executives to be successful on the job and for having healthy personal relationships, says Author Donna Mac, a well-known corporate communications trainer and keynote speaker. Ms. Mac is based in south eastern Massachusetts, with 30 years of experience in the communications industry.

The corporate communications expert notes that a recent article in Psychology Today says that whether a partner’s communication “lifts you up or brings you down” is the single largest predictor of divorce. “That one trait can also translate into work too, observes Mac. “Often, a company’s greatest talent leaves a job because of miscommunication or a lack of communication and limited trust,” she says.

“Our society is changing at an incredible pace, so we often fail to have those vital conversations or to take time to ensure that understanding has taken place. Details fall through the cracks and we spend more time picking up the pieces than if we had taken a few moments to communicate effectively in the first place,” says Mac.

Western Women Will Save The World

In 2012, Mac said, the Dali Lama was quoted as saying, “western women will save the world”. “I agree and disagree”, says Mac. “I believe His Holiness saw the importance of bringing softer, more nurturing communication skills into the workplace. It’s clear he was talking about the skills that prove to people that you’ve taken the time to think and care about them,” she says.

Mac says, “Empathetic communication skills are more important now than ever. But the workplace also needs employees who have thick skin; professionals who are able to articulate the rules, regulations and take a firm stand on issues. Those skills,” Mac says, “are the kind that will get you noticed by upper management. They come from someone not afraid to do and say the right thing at the right time, even if discomforting,” she says.

“I see it all the time. Like when a boss doesn’t provide her employees constructive feedback for fear of how that worker will feel,” says Mac, noting that when this happens it can be a great disservice to the employee and the organization because you’ve lost an opportunity for everyone to maximize the potential of the company and its people.

Speaking & Communicating Mindfully

Even with three decades of communication experience under her belt, Mac doesn’t lose sight of the fact that she’s still has more to learn. “I learn new modalities all the time. These days, I’m helping people become more mindful of how they communicate and what they can and cannot control. I’ve sharpened these skills through some recent mindfulness training. That means shutting down our noisy, overstimulated brains by sitting in silence, noticing our biases and doing breathing exercises”.

“It’s amazing”, Mac says, how communicating mindfully helps with the fear of speaking. We fear speaking at the podium and we also fear having challenging conversations. Being more mindful helps you feel more confident as you acquire the tools necessary to communicate.”

“We’ve been taught not to focus on our weaknesses,” Mac says, “but if you want to communicate more effectively, it’s vital that you know what they are. This way, if you are more reserved, you are not overpowered by colleagues or partners who are more outgoing. If your communication skills are more boisterous, you can learn the virtues of slowing down, judging less and listening better.”

“I help people understand people, so they’re able to tune in and relate better. Email and texting is not going away but I think everyone knows that our society can be healthier with more human-to-human interaction and less time on our cell phones! We will also have a more balanced society when communicators are able to be kind and to speak with certainty.”

Mac suggests that if you want to become a more effective communicator, don’t focus on changing others. “When you begin to find your voice after being more introverted, you can actually become more influential pretty quickly. If you’ve been a very communicative person and begin to ask more questions and listen, those around you will notice.”

“It takes time, energy and effort to become a more effective communicator but the benefits at work and at home are well worth it. Plus, the time for all people to acquire the confidence and ability to speak is long overdue. So, ask yourself,” Mac suggests, “are you ready and able to take on the challenge?”

With the #MeToo movement and growing number of incidents of sexual harassment being reported daily, says she spends more time looking forward than in the past. “Just about every woman has a story of being or feeling intimidated. And it’s a different world now. Thanks to the many women who have come forward, it’s a perfect time to learn how to shut down someone who is seeking to take advantage.”

Mac says, “I can’t help with the current laws of the land or regulations in various businesses. But everyone in the workplace, women and men, need to the courage and ability to tell an abuser to stop…to say statements like, “I find that comment way out of line and I am asking you to stop now” or “Help me understand what you mean by that. I’m sure you realize that I don’t stand for any type of intimidation”.

“Give them eye contact and stand in your powerful silence. It’s quite effective.”

This month we celebrate Women’s History Month, to showcase the contribution women have made throughout society. Yes, history can be made in corporate American when women stop apologizing for speaking directly. You can do this while still being kind and respectful. It’s like blending traditionally male and female communication traits when you are able to speak using both your brain and your intuition.

Donna Mac is author of Guide to a RICHER LIFE–Know Your Worth, Find Your Voice & Speak Your Mind, and The Six Pillars of Effective Communication. She is also a keynote speaker and private coach. For more details, go to http://www.dmacvoice.com.


Save the Roses and Try These Tips: Six Ways to Improving Communication at Home

Published in the Woonsocket Call on February 5, 2017

Effective Communication at home with your husband, wife, or partner is key to maintaining a meaningful, healthy, environment and thriving family. With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, Author Donna Mac, a well-known corporate trainer, based in South Eastern, Massachusetts, with 25 years of experience in the broadcasting industry, translates effective corporate communication into tips for use in enhancing communication with your loved ones.

According to Mac, sexual infidelity, commonly linked to divorce, is not the leading cause for couples separating. The corporate communications expert notes that a recent article in Psychology Today says that whether a partner’s communication “lifts you up or brings you down” is the single largest predictor of divorce.

So, mastering your communication skills may be the best Valentine’s Day gift you can give, much better than a dozen roses. Mac, founder & president of Rehoboth, MA-based DMacVoice Communications, explains her Six Pillars Of Effective Communication which can bring healthy energy into an ailing relationship and bring you closer together with your loved one.

Six Pillars of Effective Communication

“The first pillar in becoming a more effective communicator,” says Mac, noting this “is tied to ‘knowing and owning who you are.’ That means your strengths and vulnerabilities. You must be comfortable with who you are and understand that you have a right to communicate what you are thinking and feeling.” She cautions us to be careful to always communicate as calmly and respectfully as possible. Don’t wait to communicate until emotions build up to the point where that is not possible.

“Also, get a sense for whether you are you an extrovert or an introvert”. Mac notes that this will influence how you interact with your partner. According to Mac, communication tends to flows more easily for extroverts. Introverts need more time to process before they speak, but they are usually better listeners.

She also cautions against being a passive, or even a passive-aggressive communicator. Both of these styles are non-productive but they are easy to fall into. Often times it feels easier to be a passive communicator because being an effective communicator take courage and work. “These days, it’s easy to hide behind our computer screens,” she says.

The second Pillar calls for the need to understand your partner. “Understand how your personality and communication style differs from that of your loved one,” suggests Mac, who says that there are differences as well as varying points of view in every relationship. “When you disagree, be open to the possibility that either of you may be “right” or “wrong” or a bit of both. Be open to learning something new. It is also important to make it easy for your partner to share his or her vulnerabilities and ask for your help. “Create a safe space for communications by allowing and encouraging your partner to communicate often and to be authentic,” she adds.

To use a phrase from her book, you can continue to “understand your audience” over the years by listening intently and often.

Pillar three encourages you to “master the content of the conversation” you are about to have. She stresses the need to be clear on what it is you would like to say especially if you have to have a challenging conversation.

Mac says, “You may need to practice how you are going to broach an extremely difficult topic. Do your best to speak in a way that is compelling but concise and has the best interest of both of you. Instead of accusing your partner of something, talk about the way that issue has affected you. Remember, they might not know if you don’t’ tell them. Also, try not to ramble. Instead, state your case with clarity and the most positive energy you can muster. If their actions are unacceptable, know where your boundaries lie and clearly and calmly state them.”

Put Yourself Into Their Shoes

Pillar four calls for you to “anticipate questions and reactions” to conversations.” Mac recommends, while you want to make sure you get your point across, ensure that you’ve taken time to put yourself into your partner’s shoes. “Life isn’t easy for anyone. But if you take time to think about and anticipate how they may feel or react to your topic you won’t be so quick to react emotionally and with harsh words and energy.

By anticipating reaction you will be able become more proactive in your relationship, she says, noting that, “your partner will appreciate it.”

“Remember, effective communication in a trusted relationship takes time, thought and occasional discomfort,” says Mac.

Pillar five suggests that you “speak to serve” in your conversations. “When you ‘serve’ the person you’re speaking with, you are taking time to make sure that the conversation is not “all about you”. It’s for the benefit of you, for them and for the greater good of the relationship or even the entire family!” says Mac. “When you serve while speaking, you are making sure that understanding is taking place. If you’re not sure that it is, you might want to say something like, “is this making sense to you?”

Finally, Pillar six calls for you to “detach from the outcome” of the conversation. “If you follow the first 5 Pillars of Effective Communication you will be well on your way to becoming a highly effective communicator. But you aren’t quite there yet!” states Mac. It is very important that you don’t try to control your partner’s reaction.

Instead of concerning yourself with perfection, remain flexible and detached, knowing that total agreement is never possible. Plus, it’s really unimportant. What is important is the health and strength of your relationship and two powerful voices, even if they don’t always see eye to eye,” she adds.

Don’t Try to Change Others, Change Yourself

Mac suggests that if you want to become an effective communicator, don’t focus on changing the other person. We have no control over other people, only ourselves. “So work on changing what you can change in your communication style so that you can communicate in compelling and influential ways”.

While Mac’s Six Pillars Of Effective Communication can be directed to couples, look at the recommendations and try replacing “romantic” partner with “business” partner or someone you’re collaborating with at work. And replace “the entire family” with “the entire department or company in Pillar five.

“These communication tips are universal and are the foundation for healthy professional AND personal relationships. The are not easy to integrate into our lives, but the more you use them, the quicker they’ll become part of who you are and how you communicate.”

Donna Mac is author of Guide to a RICHER LIFE–Know Your Worth, Find Your Voice & Speak Your Mind and The Six Pillars of Effective Communication. She is also a keynote speaker and private coach. For more details, go to http://www.dmacvoice.com.